New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
