new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
