If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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