So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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