i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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