i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
