She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
one might say we're banned from that church
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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