im six kinds of drunk right now
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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