And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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