I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
