her vagine was all disorganized.
i barfeds in our rink
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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