Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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