That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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