Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
