My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
