So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
