Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
