I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
