I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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