My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
