Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
