When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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