I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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