I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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