My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
