wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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