I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
