carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my sisters under your porch take her home
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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