My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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