Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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