I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
