he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
