Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
