Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
