do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
