if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
