Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
