i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
