so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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