at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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