dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
