I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
