K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
