I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
