id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
