I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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