So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
