My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
