What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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