Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
