Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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